A man is quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” he exclaims. “That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Jenny written on it”, she replies. “Two weeks ago when I [...]
New sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been [...]
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. Husband: “Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!” You’re cooking too many at once. Husband: TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Husband: Oh my! “WHERE are we going to [...]
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi! My name is Sherry. 2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy & finally died a peaceful [...]
American grandmother Linda Wolfe has become “the most married woman in the world” after walking down the aisle 23 times, and is now “on the lookout for number 24″. Mrs Wolfe, 68, is included in the Guinness Book of World Records for the dubious honour of being wed more times than anyone else alive. She [...]
HER DIARY Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn’t flowing [...]
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’ And then the fight started… ********************************************************************* When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… So, I took her to a gas station.. And then [...]
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you,” announced the teacher. “Walking is especially [...]
