Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity [...]
Put down your funnel between swills. Seek immediate medical attention if a beer belch lasts longer than 4 hours. Never eat longer than you can maintain your dignity. Between meals, suck on a wino’s toothbrush. Paste pictures of ankle-length cellulite on your refrigerator. Never sit facing the dessert cart. Avoid dining companions who belong to [...]
There is a man that lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of [...]
Employee: Boss, can I have the day off tomorrow? Boss: So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available [...]
Here’s some things to ponder on that concerns life in general…. 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken [...]
Lesson Number 1: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of [...]
What happens when you cross a zebra with a horse? The result isn’t really a horse, it’s a zorse, of course! Meet Eclyse — a zebra / horse hybrid, born on a ranch in Germany. Not part from any fabled Frankenstein style story or science experiment gone bad — she’s the product of a holiday [...]
