A man was praying to god. He said, “God?” God responded, “Yes?” And the Guy said, “Can I ask a question?” “Go right ahead”, God said. “God, what is a million years to you?” God said, “A million years to me is only a second.” The man wondered. Then he asked, “God, what is a [...]
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time….. Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and inquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss” They’re asking for $10 Million ransom, otherwise they’re going to douse him with petrol [...]
A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.” He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.” He looked in the [...]
Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those arguments. Five Minutes This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the [...]
Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity [...]
Put down your funnel between swills. Seek immediate medical attention if a beer belch lasts longer than 4 hours. Never eat longer than you can maintain your dignity. Between meals, suck on a wino’s toothbrush. Paste pictures of ankle-length cellulite on your refrigerator. Never sit facing the dessert cart. Avoid dining companions who belong to [...]
A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. Just he and his Granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold [...]
