A man in his 40′s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red [...]
Three armed robbers eating at a Chinese Buffet came across three bins of fortune cookies labeled Cookie#1, Cookie#2, & Cookie#3 The sign said that 2 of the three cookies would be a ‘good’ fortune & 1 of the cookie’s fortune would be twice as good as the others. Each guy picked a different cookie. The [...]
A young woman said to her doctor, ‘You have to help me, I hurt all over!’ ‘What do you mean?’ said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,’Ow, that hurts.’ Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, ‘Ouch! That hurts, too.’ Then she touched her right [...]
A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time. The father and son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator. “What’s that Paw?” The boy asked. “I ain’t never did see nothin’ like that in my life” Replied the father. Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the [...]
Two Doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!” The [...]
Dear Yellow Pages, we all have a thing called Internet, please stop wasting stuff!
